Cheesecake (Gluten Free)
- Minutes to Prepare:
- Minutes to Cook:
- Number of Servings: 1
Ingredients
5 large Egg, fresh, whole, raw .25 cup Rice flour, brown 4 serving Rice Chex Cereal (1 cup) 2 tbsp Corn Oil .0125 cup (8 fl oz) Water, tap .25 cup, packed Brown Sugar 16 oz Cream Cheese 1 cup Granulated Sugar 1 tbsp Vanilla Extract .5 cup Butter, salted 1 cup, halves Strawberries, fresh 1 tsp Lemon Juice
First, take a 10" pie dish and wipe it with a thick layer of shortening. This will prevent the crust from sticking to the dish, and make cleanup much easier. Shove the pie dish into the freezer like you're hiding evidence.
Take about 4 cups of chex or some other rice cereal, and toss it in a blender or food processor. Run it until it's been pulverized. It does not need to be finely blended - it's actually better to have some large chunks. Just as long as you don't have whole squares. Separately, take 1 egg, 2 tbsp of water, and 2 tbsp of corn or vegetable oil, combine them, and beat them with a fork like they owe you money. Once the mixture is fluffy, put in the 1/4 cup of brown sugar, and beat it some more. Then combine the pulverized rice mix with the badly beaten egg mixture, and fold with the fork gradually adding the 1/4 cup of rice flour until you get a stiff mixture that sticks to the sides of the mixing bowl without sloughing off. Transfer this mixture into your pie plate. Using a large spoon, press it around until the entire bottom and sides are lined with it. Put all of this back in the freezer while you prepare the filling.
Take your 16 oz of cream cheese (this is usually two packages), and nuke them in the microwave until they soften up. If it starts exploding, you've gone too far. Next, put your butter (.5 cup is one stick) in the microwave and melt it. Note: Don't you dare use margarine or some other fake butter with my recipe. We're all going to die some day, so you might as well enjoy life while you can. Real butter is generally healthier anyway. In a separate bowl, put your 4 eggs and 1 tbsp of vanilla extract. Maybe two. Your call. I happen to like real vanilla, so I went with 2 tbsp, but the standard is 1 tbsp. Beat this mixture like... you know the drill. Now preheat the oven to 375 F. I say F because countries who haven't been to the moon use centigrade. If that's you, then set your oven to 190 C, then go sing God Save the Queen, the La Marseillaise, or whatever makes you feel better about your metric system snobbery.
In a large bowl, using a hand mixer or an 18v drill with a paint stirring attachment, start mixing up the cream cheese while gradually adding the sugar. After the sugar is mixed in, add the egg mixture - gradually. Don't dump it in all at once like some frat boy at a keg stand, because it'll prevent the cream cheese from fully mixing. Finally, add the melted butter. Once your mixture is fully mixed, set it aside and then stare at your oven until it hits 375 F (190 C). When the temp is right, pull the pie crust out of freezer, dump (yes dump) your filling in, and set it in the center of the top rack. Set your timer for five minutes.
Take your strawberries, and cut them in halves or quarters - whatever gives you small recogniseable bite sized chunks. Put them in a container. Add 1 tsp of lemon juice, 1/4 cup of sugar, and 2 tbsp of water. Put the lid on, and shake it up like you're trying to win American Bandstand. Toss the container into the fridge.
By now, your timer will have gone off. Set the oven temperature to 325 F (162 C, or if you're a real geek, 436 K). Set the timer for 50 minutes. Now go watch football or something. At the end of the 55 minutes, the cheesecake should be done. It'll jiggle in the middle - kind of like you - but won't flow around like a liquid. If it does, put it back for about 10 more minutes. Otherwise, set it some place to cool for about 30 minutes. Once it reaches room temperature, put it in the fridge for about 4 hours so it can fully congeal. I like to put a large dish on it inverted to protect it from any odors in the fridge, like the open can of beer your brother in law left in there to "finish later". As if temperance were his thing.
Once the cheesecake has cooled, you can slice it up and serve it. The strawberries will have formed a nice syrup for a light topping. I like to get all fancy and use a spoon to drizzle zig-zag patterns and stuff, then arrange the strawberry pieces in a star pattern, but that's just me. You can dump them on there like a heathen if you like, and nobody will judge you.
Serving Size: 8 Servings
Take about 4 cups of chex or some other rice cereal, and toss it in a blender or food processor. Run it until it's been pulverized. It does not need to be finely blended - it's actually better to have some large chunks. Just as long as you don't have whole squares. Separately, take 1 egg, 2 tbsp of water, and 2 tbsp of corn or vegetable oil, combine them, and beat them with a fork like they owe you money. Once the mixture is fluffy, put in the 1/4 cup of brown sugar, and beat it some more. Then combine the pulverized rice mix with the badly beaten egg mixture, and fold with the fork gradually adding the 1/4 cup of rice flour until you get a stiff mixture that sticks to the sides of the mixing bowl without sloughing off. Transfer this mixture into your pie plate. Using a large spoon, press it around until the entire bottom and sides are lined with it. Put all of this back in the freezer while you prepare the filling.
Take your 16 oz of cream cheese (this is usually two packages), and nuke them in the microwave until they soften up. If it starts exploding, you've gone too far. Next, put your butter (.5 cup is one stick) in the microwave and melt it. Note: Don't you dare use margarine or some other fake butter with my recipe. We're all going to die some day, so you might as well enjoy life while you can. Real butter is generally healthier anyway. In a separate bowl, put your 4 eggs and 1 tbsp of vanilla extract. Maybe two. Your call. I happen to like real vanilla, so I went with 2 tbsp, but the standard is 1 tbsp. Beat this mixture like... you know the drill. Now preheat the oven to 375 F. I say F because countries who haven't been to the moon use centigrade. If that's you, then set your oven to 190 C, then go sing God Save the Queen, the La Marseillaise, or whatever makes you feel better about your metric system snobbery.
In a large bowl, using a hand mixer or an 18v drill with a paint stirring attachment, start mixing up the cream cheese while gradually adding the sugar. After the sugar is mixed in, add the egg mixture - gradually. Don't dump it in all at once like some frat boy at a keg stand, because it'll prevent the cream cheese from fully mixing. Finally, add the melted butter. Once your mixture is fully mixed, set it aside and then stare at your oven until it hits 375 F (190 C). When the temp is right, pull the pie crust out of freezer, dump (yes dump) your filling in, and set it in the center of the top rack. Set your timer for five minutes.
Take your strawberries, and cut them in halves or quarters - whatever gives you small recogniseable bite sized chunks. Put them in a container. Add 1 tsp of lemon juice, 1/4 cup of sugar, and 2 tbsp of water. Put the lid on, and shake it up like you're trying to win American Bandstand. Toss the container into the fridge.
By now, your timer will have gone off. Set the oven temperature to 325 F (162 C, or if you're a real geek, 436 K). Set the timer for 50 minutes. Now go watch football or something. At the end of the 55 minutes, the cheesecake should be done. It'll jiggle in the middle - kind of like you - but won't flow around like a liquid. If it does, put it back for about 10 more minutes. Otherwise, set it some place to cool for about 30 minutes. Once it reaches room temperature, put it in the fridge for about 4 hours so it can fully congeal. I like to put a large dish on it inverted to protect it from any odors in the fridge, like the open can of beer your brother in law left in there to "finish later". As if temperance were his thing.
Once the cheesecake has cooled, you can slice it up and serve it. The strawberries will have formed a nice syrup for a light topping. I like to get all fancy and use a spoon to drizzle zig-zag patterns and stuff, then arrange the strawberry pieces in a star pattern, but that's just me. You can dump them on there like a heathen if you like, and nobody will judge you.
Serving Size: 8 Servings
Nutritional Info Amount Per Serving
- Calories: 4,563.2
- Total Fat: 301.6 g
- Cholesterol: 1,673.8 mg
- Sodium: 3,339.1 mg
- Total Carbs: 428.3 g
- Dietary Fiber: 9.3 g
- Protein: 77.7 g
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